Sunday, March 29, 2009

have you ever wondered. . .

If the 24/7 shops are open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year, why do they have locks on the doors?
Why is there braille on the drive-through ATM?
Why are "Clothes Horses" called as such?
If the Black Box is indestructible why isn't the whole plane made from the same material?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
What is the speed of darkness?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder......Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing and read on.......
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?


Wildside said...

Whew! Took my brain for a spin there, Claire!

Look at your kitties -- seems they are expecting something?!?

gfid said...

the first tune i teach my violin students is 'Twinkle, twinkle little star'. i had one student who argued long and hard that they WERE NOT the same tune.... because, though the pitches are the same, the syllables are not, so there sometimes 16th notes in one where the other has 8th notes. i wonder what that kid became when he grew up? a banker? a gov't inspector? a professional lint picker?

gfid said...

.... or maybe a molecular biologist on the nano scale

clairesgarden said...

Wildside, they are waiting for a cat treat....and wondering why they can't have more!
GF, definately lint picker...with rythm..