Wednesday, February 11, 2015

I think I'm the monkey in this one...

and things change... the end of an 'era'.. comforting friends who have lost parents.. now starts the comforting of freinds children as your friends start to die off... and I'm not that old.. 48.
my gardening friend Billy died a couple of years ago, his wife Sandra died today.
and it brings me to thinking.. well why would you particularly want to live a long time anyway? I've had lovely times in  my life, lots of good experiences, but I've also enough grief that it just is overwhelming sometimes. and the constant struggle.. usually to do with money , which never eases, even working till I'm exhausted and think I just can't do it any more.
so I wouldn't want to be doing this till I'm 80.
and hope its sudden, no desire to linger...

6 comments:

WILDSIDE said...

So sorry about the loss of your friend there... We had shock of 2 losses this week as well and it does make one blue and not in the good sense; one went quickly, the other lingered...

I've also lived with a lot of very ancient people, some who just won't give up! Some tho' who wished their time would come more quickly and it never did.

Life can certainly be hard at times, but please don't give up, Claire, while you're still alive and kicking!

Smiles and sympathy your way.

clairesgarden said...

well I keep working away, much as I feel like giving up.. its like 'running faster to stay in the same place'

WILDSIDE said...

Isn't it, though?

Hang in there.

There is a saying a friend of mine told me years ago -- she'd not had an easy life, but still was full of humor and mirth and aspirations:

"When the going gets tough, the tough get tougher!"

WILDSIDE said...

Claire, I hope it goes well for you with the new job. Keep hanging in there!

Me, I've gone too soft... LOL

Take good care, you.

gfid said...

I remember your mentions of Billy in what now seems like another life. It's heartbreaking to lose dear friends. The only way through it, I think, is to continue to be one yourself. I'm terribly excited for you, over the new home... The bathroom of magnificent potential!

clairesgarden said...

the bathroom is awesome, the rest of it? not so much